Welcome to reality

I hate this picture SO much

Why is it that we can blissfully ignore what is right in front of our faces until we see it in a picture.  Things like mess on the floor -- you don't really notice it, but then you take a picture of your kid and see crap all over the place and think "I can't show this to anyone!" and clean before taking more.

The same thing happens with your weight.  I've seen it on TV and never really understood it.  Those commercials for weight loss where the guy says "I knew I was big, but didn't realize how big I was until I saw a picture..."

Well folks, it's happened to me.  Yes, I saw the doughy roll forming around my middle.  Yes, I noticed that I moved from my sexy jeans to my fat jeans....and then to my sweat pants because even the fat jeans were too tight.  Yes, I saw my thighs getting bigger and bigger and didn't really recognize the person that I saw in the mirror as the person that I see in my head.

But, reality hit me well and true yesterday when I took a series of pictures of myself (outside in the snow to send to a friend overseas who misses it dearly).  I could NOT get a picture that didn't have a double chin.  No amount of neck stretching would do it.  And it hit me -- if my face is getting chubby - what's the rest of me looking like?  With blinders removed from my eyes, I saw me in a new light...and am not really liking what I see.

So, after weeks of telling myself I'm getting up to exercise - I DID IT.  I also logged onto my sparkpeople account for the first time in a long time to track my weight/measurements and food.  And I'm going to keep accountable on the Facebook Group that I made (because so far, it's just been excuses as to why I'm not doing anything).  Also -- I'm putting my plans out here for you all too -- Keep me on track, peeps!


I'm sick of feeling so lethargic and unmotivated.  I'm tired of the rolls and the pain of tight waist bands.

My Goals:

• I am going to do the Shred for 3 days in a row, followed by 1 day of Yoga Meltdown
• I am going to eat whole/healthy foods
• I am going to actually drink water (A major weakness of mine, I don't like water and am lucky if I get 1/2 a glass in a day)
• I am going to cut down on the sugars and starchy foods
• I am cutting out coffee (le gasp!)
• I am going to be positive -- This doesn't mean I can't still have a snarky attitude and maintain my wit -- no --- I'm just going to also see the good in ME instead of the bad.

Who's joining me??

A Post about Nothing.

Yup, this post is a bit like a Seinfeld episode - about nothing, yet everyone can relate (at least, I hope you can, otherwise, I'm really far gone!)

First, I'd like to apologize for the lack of posts - my excuses before were that I was so busy with all the school work, reading and researching that I didn't have time to blog; now it's all about...well...empty excuses.

It's not as if I have anything else to do.  You see, I've been avoiding my Shred workouts that I was oh-so-excited about less than 2 weeks ago.  Not a single one done since that first post.  Don't get me wrong, I think about doing it a lot, but just have zero motivation for it.

It's not as if the kids aren't inspiration enough for me.  You see, after being not-the-best provider for the last 2 1/2 months (letting them just play freely while I read/researched and occasionally giving up on that and getting down to build a tower or play with dolls) - now I'm in Super Provider Overdrive.  Yup, so far this week we have baked a cake, made a super-secret gift for moms/dads, made a funky gift bag to put the super-secret gift into, created a wall of snowflakes (that I got the pleasure of cutting to each child's direction -- and I have the blister to prove it), making another stick snowflake (sounds horrible, but is cute), decorating ginger bread houses, making the old time Elephant Popcorn (anyone remember that?) and ... uh.... oh yeah, I still have fudge and cookies on my list-o-things to do.  I have read stories until I've lost my voice (and unknowingly, gave my sweet little chosen child nightmares about wolves who eat children.  Thanks a lot Red Riding Hood!)

Also, I have booked in a last minute "Spa-Care" day (a daycare day full of spa treatments...facials, mani/pedis and pajamas.)  So, I have more boys than girls -- they'll enjoy it just as much as the girls!

No, instead I spend my evenings in front of my computer in a complete brain fog mindlessly clicking links that take me to some of the strangest things that I've ever seen...and they all involve vaginae (yes, that's the correct spelling, all this time I've been saying "vaginas" but apparently that's wrong.  Who knew?)  Sorry to those of you who are vagina-phobes....it's not my fault...I read a link, find it interesting click on it and can't look away.  It's not porn (don't worry about that) -- but it is odd and leaves you thinking, "What the hell is wrong with the world??"

Fatty Fat

My brother in law calls me that.  I don't think I'm fat -- and I don't think he thinks I am.  It sounds mean and cruel -- but that's just the way we are with each other.  If some random dude walked up to me on the street and called me that, I'd be livid.  But Sam, he can say it and we just laugh.

However,  I'm beginning to feel a little fatty fat.  Yes folks, after all that working on that stupid Shred DVD, after all the sweat, tears, pee and swears, I'm finding all my fat again.  I blame it on the stress of my schooling.  I've started my diploma courses and not only is it much harder than I thought (you have to research every single thing you want to say with evidence so that the teacher knows you're not just blowing wind out of your ass -- in other words, I'm screwed!) -- but the course itself deals with things that I don't want to face; things like sexual abuse and helping screwed up families stay together even when my gut says to take the kids to some safe place and send the parents off to the firing squad.

See -- I read things like that and then I feel bad.  So I eat a cookie, or I add an extra spoon of sugar in my cup of tea.  Why?  You tell me, I have no friggen idea!!

I can also blame it on my wickedly awesome daycare mom who bought me (for no good reason, I might add) a sony eReader.  This thing is amazing.  I currently house 36 books in that little baby.  I can cart it around all over the place.  However, lately I've been hauling it all the way to my backyard -- then sitting on my bulging bottom and reading while my chosen children run around the backyard like mindless hooligans burning calories like crazy.  I'm sure that I somehow absorb them.

Either way, I'm sorely disappointed in myself. I worked hard (click here to read the 30 day shred post that gets the most hits becuase it's apparently uproariously funny).  I worked SO hard to get the results that I got.  I felt good, not just becuase I'd lost a few inches, but because I did something for me, 100% for me and didn't give up.  I felt healthy - something I hadn't felt in a while.  I see myself sliding back down that slope of chronic lazy-itus that I seem to suffer from and I'm scared.

Then I got to thinking -- the average woman in America (and Canada) is a 14.  I think that the manufacturers of clothing companies realized that woman are really freaked out by such a "big" number.  All my life...all my adult life I was a size 10-12.  I wasn't embarrassed about it, it's the size I was.  Last time I went to buy a pair of jeans, do you know what size I bought?? A 5.  f-i-v-e.  How is that possible?  I have hips -- big ones.  Hips that my doctors told me are "birthing hips" (ie, they are big enough to house big healthy babies!) -- there is no way on God's green earth that I could get a size 5 pant over my hips.  NEVER.  So what's up?  I think they're messing with the sizes.  A size 10 is no longer what a size 10 used to be.

Why are we so obsessed with it all?  Marilyn Monroe, was one of the sexiest woman in American history -- she was a size 16.  That's what made her curvy and gorgeous.  She didn't need to implant anything -- they were real -- she was round and voluptuous and beautiful.  Look at this picture...back then, that was Me-ow sexiness...now, she'd be considered fat.  How sad is that?

I want to be a "Learned Woman"

So - I've been slacking in my exercise postings -- that's becuase I've been slacking in my exercises!  After about two weeks of sitting on my duff and thinking about exercising, I plugged in the 30 Day Shred and was barely able to make it through level one.  Ugh.  Back to square one!

I'm going to continue to do this though... I"m thinking roughly 3 days per level...ie, 3 days on Level 1, then a day of Yoga Meltdown, then 3 days of Level 2 and another day of Yoga meltdown...you get the pic.

What I'm really waiting for however, is school to be done.  I have a couple of spring courses happening right now - and as soon as they're done, I'm signing up for belly dancing!  Yup -- there's this place right here in the city that offers belly dancing classes - it's called Raqs Al Almeh - which apparently means "Dance of the Learned Women" -- sweet is what I call it.

Why Hethr -- you're a Muslim -- don't all Muslim women belly dance?  Isn't that part of your religion??

Uh  -- NO.  That's kinda like saying that all Christians must know how to polka. Gimme a break.  And yes, that was an honest to God question that I was asked.  *roll eyes*

Anyhow -- the women running this place seem to be really funky and neat -- open to everything.  I like that.  It's also the right price -- working out to just $10/class.  I also love that they've researched so much and offer so many different types of belly dancing.

Oh -- they also have a facebook group, just in case anyone wanted to join.

I can't wait to get started!

Shred Challenge - final thoughts

Okay, I'm well beyond my 30 days of Shredding.  I thought I'd come in with some final thoughts and statistics.

Do I love working out any more than before?  No.

Do I have a new love for Jillian?  Not really.

Have I noticed changes?  YES...energy, clothing wise, even my skin looks better!

The results:

• Total Weight loss = -1.7 lbs.  This doesn't seem like much - but I can see a massive change.  I lot of my blubber changed into muscle.  Don't be dissapointed if you do this workout and don't see your scale moving much
• Waist = no change
• Chest = +1.25 inches (hell yeah!)
• Hips = - 1 inch (hell yeah!)
• Thighs = - 1.25 inches (hell yeah!)
• Calves = + .5 inch (oh yeah!)
• Biceps = + 1 inch (yeah baby, yeah!)

So...now what?  Well, I honestly haven't gotten off of my butt for the last few days...busy with life. There's also a major change to my work schedule starting - and I'm already waking up at 5am.  I will NOT be getting up at 4 to exercise.  I'll have to figure something out though.

I still can't decide if I love The Shred or not.  I certainly like the fact that it's short...long enough to make a difference short enough to be over quickly without being bored out of my mind.  I'm debating whether or not I'll do a level a day or something...I just hated level 2 so much.  All in all though, I'd highly recommend buying this video.
I really like Jillian Michaels: Yoga Meltdown - that's a workout/relaxation in one (and Jillian's not yelling at you).
My friend gave me a dvd to try -- it's Lindsay Brin's CORE Fitness which I hear is tough...I may try it...or it may gather dust.

I'd sure as hell like to enjoy working out.  I really want to want to get up in the morning and do it. Thing is, I'm lazy...lazy, lazy, lazy.  And lately, I've been making excuse after excuse to not do these things.  Am I just in the wrong place right now?  Maybe.  Or maybe God just intended for me to jiggle and shake.  Who knows?





PS. Blogger has completely changed the layout of blogging. I really like it!! Maybe I'll have a couple of posts testing out the new features!

Yoga Challenge

So -- Level 3 of the shred is a joy (seriously people). Still can't make it through all of the exercises - but that 20 minutes is gone before I even know it and I enjoy every second of it. However, this weekend, I chose to do the Yoga Meltdown.

My husband doesn't like when I write online about him...not even in a status update, so let's just say that I talked to "someone" and teased him to death until he decided to do the yoga with me. I pop in the video and we start doing the warm up which just consists of standing there and waving your arms up and down.

I should put a note here - I'm competitive. Nope, more than that, I'm the type of person who will work as hard as I can to do better than you then I'll do a little "hoo rah" dance in my head when I do extremely competitive.

We start getting into more moves. I know that "someone" isn't all that flexible - but I thought "anyone can do yoga" yet, someone proved me wrong. He's tipping over and falling and for most of the moves just laid there (or stood, depending on the position) while we both pretended that he was still doing it.

Can I just say how much I loved this? He's struggling and stumbling, and I'm flowing from one pose to another and, in a total un-yoga like manner, I was secretly laughing and pointing at him and saying "na na na na boo boo, I do Yoga better than you!"

Yes, I'm pathetically immature that competitive.

Later, becuase I can't possibly let him get away with the yoga failure and feel the insane urge to brag wanted to make some conversation with my dad and his family, I start talking about our Morning Yoga Session together.

His response "my body's not built right for it."

Last night, he challenged me to a Shred Off...but he's only willing to do level 1. I think I may just take him up on it.

Level 3 - for real this time

Okay - I'm thoroughly convinced that I'm warped -- and am a little disappointed that I didn't give level 3 more of a chance this morning.

I went back to do it tonight -- thought that maybe watching little A do it with me might bring some humour to the workout. After the psychotic plank/superman poses - the rest of the workout was pretty fun! Don't get me wrong - it was Jillian tough - but it was fun. I didn't mind level 1, I absolutely hated every second of level 2, but level 3 brings some of my favourite moves from level 1 (punches, but kicks, etc) and adds even more fun in there. There's this move where you're in a plank position - lift up one hand to your torso, bring it down, then raise the leg, bring it down...I really like this move. It's hard - but I enjoy it! Same with the "traveling push-ups" I'm a freak...I know it!

The thing is - I'd heard tales that level 3 was this giant torture session, but I really, really like it. I think that, for me, level 2 is my personal level 3! I'm so happy to have an exercise that I enjoy again! Woo hoo!!

The Shred - Day 28 (day 1 of Lvl 3)

Uh...all I can say is, "yeah right"

People, she puts moves into the warm up that are in the work out sections of the other levels. Even Jillian is panting away -- not even into the first strength session! Oh, and that first strength section is ... you guessed it ... more plank moves!! Yup -- you do this "walk out plank" followed by "the superman" - these are yoga moves. I like yoga. I also like Jillian's take on Yoga -- but this 3 minute section....it's painful.

So -- I did what all good quitters do. I turned it off.

I'm just not in "that place" right now -- perhaps tomorrow. I realized today that I've stopped doing this exercise for ME and started doing it for all of you readers. No wonder I hate it now! I need to get back to doing it because i want to do it rather than because my readers expect a post. But I wanted to get through my last day with the daycare children today in a good mood. One more day. We'll do yoga later...I promise!

Oh -- speaking of Yoga -- I went and ordered that Giam Kids Yoga video that I was talking about in an earlier post...but I mistakenly ordered 2. So, I've got one that I'd like to sell, rather than go through the hassle of returning....here's the link, and you all can email me (or comment, remember, I like comments!) to let me know if you want it or not.


I still can't get over this -- they have 2 other videos on there, one is Silly-to-Calm for $20 and the other is Abc's (3-6) again for $20 -- while the video that I bought includes BOTH of those DVDs for just $18.49! So -- the one that I have is up for grabs and if you're too slow on the take, just order it -- I think it's totally worth it!

Homework, excuses and Shredding - oh my!

Well, unless you live in the dark you'll notice that I haven't posted any exercise postings. That's because....wait for it....I haven't been exercising! I know -- what a shock! Here's my list of reasons why:

• too much homework, not enough time to do it, and house work, and be a mom/wife/daycare lady and exercise. Just can't do it.
• haven't been feeling well -- couldn't figure it out. Exhausted like I'm running on empty or something. Doc thinks it may be my thyroid needing adjusting.
• Spring Break -- yup, my kids are here for the whole day every day for a week. You homeschooling parents, I don't know how you do it. I'm nearly certifiable by the end of the night.

Anyhow -- I have decided that at this point, my homework HAS to come first...at least until I can get ahead (again) if I can. I have this retarded critical analysis to do of an essay that's about as exciting as watching paint dry...and once again, I'm putting it off and blogging instead.

I will let you know where life takes me -- and hopefully it's back on the exercise train soon!

Oh -- and by the way -- where's the love people? Do you not realize that your comments are what keep me going? Know how many comments I got on my last post (asking about whether or not I should move up a level)? ZERO people...come one...placate me!!

The Shred - Day 27

So - Level 2 once again, and it was pretty easy. I still struggled to make it through the whole thing following the Amazon, but I did it. I'm getting bored with it -- and wonder if I should move to level 3 already or stay on level 2 successfully for a few days. What do you all think? Leave a comment and let me know!

Sorry Fans...

I've been MIA the last few days -- it was that dreaded, "Holy Crap! I have so much stuff to do and no time to do it" moment that I had on the Friday before I went down to school.

Friday's Exercise Recap - Did the Shred, Level 2 as promised. Not all my kids were napping, so one toddled along and tried to do it with me. I was once again able to get through the whole thing, so that's a good sign.

Friday in my life recap - my Mother In Law was in the hospital. She'd had a bloody nose that just wouldn't quit, by the time I saw her, she was pale and weak and shaking and cold. The doctors don't know why or how and for whatever hair-brained reason, they decided NOT to do an X-ray or CAT scan. Stupid. The woman is complaining about stabbing pains in her skull and says she can feel her heartbeat in the nerves of her nose. That is not normal! So -- prayers are asked for and will be much appreciated.

Friday night - had to make some Tabouleh for school. I was to choose a simple, healthy, unique recipe which children would eat. Since we were visiting with the Inlaws, I didn't get home until about 1030 before I started sending the kids to bed and getting everything ready for school. By the time I started making the salad, it was closer to eleven, finished everything by 1130, then washing up -- yeah, it was about midnight when I finally got to bed.

For the people in my class that had asked, the book that I used, I'd bought in Saudi Arabia, but I was able to find a newer version of it at Amazon. I highly recommend this book, it is absolutely filled with delicious recipes from all over the Middle East/Mediterranean. There hasn't been one recipe that I've tried that I haven't enjoyed.




Then, my alarm rang at 530. I voted to sleep over exercise -- becuase I had a long drive ahead of me. 6 am I got up, got my stuff together and printed off as much stuff as I could before class. Left for school and had a fun ride down with my school-mate (and I didn't even miss the turnoff! Yay!!)

School went fabulous. I had a monster of an instructor last round, so I'm so glad to be back to a great instructor who makes learning a fun and enjoyable experience, rather than just brow beating you.

During class we were to share our recipes. 40 of us. 40 snacks to go around. I was SO FULL by the end of the day that I had to unbutton my slacks! I got home, hubby had dinner made and I couldn't even look at the food, let alone eat. It's now noon the next day, and I'm just starting to feel that I can eat again!

Because I was so full yesterday, i ended up not exercising at all. I kinda feel bad, but in another way, I'm just tired. Tired of it all...the exercise, the school, the kids...I just need a little break, and I'm using that day off of exercise as one. I'm currently waiting for my toddler to wind down enough to take a nap and then I'll be doing my Yoga Meltdown.

Anyhow -- no wit and humor for today....yet...I need to keep my mind on track to finish my readings and exam, need to keep on the straight course so that I can decided whether do to a Power Point or a Brochure for homework (and choose a topic)...perhaps after dinner tonight, I'll be in the mood. We'll have to see.

That's it, that's all folks!

The Shred - Day 26

Today's Shred was amazingly easy. I hopped up out of bed, before I knew it my workout clothes were on and I was in front of the TV pluggin' away to the video. The weights were like feathers, the cardio was easy - and I was following the Amazon! It was amazing to be so strong and so powerful. I wasn't even breathing all that heavy...

Suddenly, I started to sweat -- on one side of my face...I reached up my hand to wipe it away only to realize that it was drool. I'd been sleeping for the last half hour and my workout was a dream.

Oh -- how disappointing...I now have to shred while the kids nap, and I'm guessing it won't be as easy as it was this morning.

The Shred - Day 25

So, it's been almost a full week since I did The Shred. Why? Good question...I put off things, I"m good at that. I also had excuses - and they seemed pretty valid to me. Yard work...hours and hours of yard work. I did the yoga yesterday (I don't think that I blogged it) but I did it...and it was hard...I'm feeling muscles, especially around my core, that I never felt before. But it's not The Shred - not even close. I learned something today -- when you put off The Shred, it's like starting all over again.

Yes, my alarm went off this morning, I changed into my workout clothes and laced up my shoes, all happy and ready to continue where I'd last been (remember, I'd been following the Amazon woman for a few days). Not even 3 minutes into it, and Amazon woman was smiling and mocking me. Meanwhile - Easy Anita does her moves like a little fairy, and I feel like she's sending me a vibe. It says, "ha ha ha! You wimpy fool, now you have to follow me. Look and the pathetic moves that I do, and now you do because you can't keep up with Amazon. Ha...ha..ha."

I don't like it. My friend Erin was inspired (apparently by me) to go out and buy The Shred and start her own blog...she moved to level 2 a few days ago, and do you know what she said??

Today was day #1, Level 2 of the Shred. I was really dreading it. I've heard the horror stories, how it's so much harder than level 1, that I'd feel like puking.

I'm happy to report that it really wasn't that bad!

She's crazy, I know. Either that, or I'm pathetic, and I refuse to believe that...so I'm sticking with the crazy thing.

Oh, one other thing -- after sweating up a storm at quarter after 5 this morning, I shakily made my way to my shower. I'm quiet, the rest of the house is sleeping...I turn on the shower, and pull back the curtain, and nearly die of a heart attack - there in my shower is what looks to be a dead rat. Turns out, my lovely toddler tossed a teddy bear (or teddy puppy, more accurately) into the bath tub last night. I didn't know, and turned on the water while I peeled out of my clothes and got my towels ready. By the time I was ready to step into the shower, poor puppy was an eerie looking drowned rat. Ew.

Yoga again

I debated doing the shred today, but my aching back and shoulders from all that raking just wouldn't allow it. Instead, I did yoga. God, I love how Yoga limbers you up. The pain in my back has melted away, and I now feel "good".

I really can't wait until I can do this workout without trembling like a little kitten in front of a bull dog. I know that this isn't necessarily about muscular strength, but more about a state of calmness. Now that I've finished my class with the psycho teacher from hell (who's up for teaching me come the fall it looks like) - I see that I can certainly do these poses much better, still not well - but I also have a 2 year old. Nearly impossible to have mental calmness when there's a two year old around - especially when said 2 year old manages to find a bingo dabber...I have never played bingo other than in elementary...but the child is now the color of a smurf. Blue nose, blue ears, a blue belly button, blue fingers, blue knees, blue thighs and blue toes. No -- calm was a state I was attempting to get to -- not one that I was already in.

Anyhow - I'm going to do my best to get to my Shreds this week -- I've got a pile of assignments that I've successfully put off (which it now sounds like I'm doing for the shred)...hmm...

No Shred this weekend

And this is why.

This is a picture of my backyard - this picture is taken about 1/3 of the way in. It is large enough that (at the time of this picture) I had 4 apple trees, and 2 birch trees -- all about 30 years old AND still enough room to fit an outdoor table set, a back yard climber, a sand box and still have a garden (that's about 20' x 30'). Since we took this picture, we've taken down both birch (which had died for some strange reason along with every other birch tree in the neighbourhood) and 1 of the apple trees (which had been taken over by a nasty ant colony -- killed it from the roots!).

So - every fall, I rake. Not only do I still have 3 apple trees left to clean up from, but it seems like every tree's leaves in the neighbourhood fall into my back yard. I rake and I rake and I rake. Then we go through what seems like an eternity of snow and cold - and suddenly there's spring - warm and beautiful and green. But it's hiding. It's hiding under dead grass and yet more leaves that need to be raked up.

Yesterday, I spent 4 hours out there raking. I only got a little over 1/2 of the back yard. I still need to do the front (which is about 2/3 the size of the back). That will be done today. I truly feel that this is the equivalent of doing a shred workout. Maybe two.

Oh, I also rearranged my daycare room. Moved the furniture around, added some new toys, put away some old toys into storage. Lifted couches, vacuumed everything possible...mopped floors, cleaned bathrooms...sanitized and disinfected -- yeah. There's another Shred workout.

On the schedule today is yet more raking (hopefully getting it all done), running around the city for some last minute groceries, stopping by my accountant's office to drop off my tax info, then coming back home to teach my 6 year old how to ride a bike. Okay, so the stuff between the bike riding and the raking isn't much, but still...I'm counting that as a shred or two as well.

Oh yeah -- I also bought a couple of new trikes for daycare. Can't wait to see their faces....soon, we'll be doing another fundraiser to raise money to buy a new climbing set for them! YAHOO~ I may even set up a paypal donation thing on here -- wonder if strangers will donate??

Excuses and The Shred - Day 24

After whining and moaning all day long yesterday about all the pathetic things I could find to complain about (an earache, a migraine, my pulled stomach muscle, my bratty toddler) I ended up not doing any workout at all and it just made me feel worse.

So -- when my alarm woke me up this morning, I hopped out of bed and got right to it. Level two of The Shred and it was not kind to me. I hate, hate, hate that I feel like I'm falling backwards. I don't feel as though I'm getting stronger, I don't feel as though I'm improving -- I just feel like a big old Fail.

But this is me and my freakish drive for perfection. So - logically looking at it, I can see that I'm improving. Today, for the first time, I did both sets of the plank squats - I was never able to do that before. But then, I look at things like the skater jump or the twisty-hop thing she does -- I couldn't make it through...I have since the second or third day, but today, I was huffing and puffing and yes...giving up. Why?

I need a good kick in the karmic ass...I'm in a rut -- in school, in my homelife, with work -- and with my workouts. Boo. :(

Day 23 (late) and Yoga today...

Well - I was so excited with my new blog layout and laughing at that crazy woman's bugged eyes, that I forgot to post about my Shred yesterday. (by the way -- I noticed that you can now get The Shred for just $8.99!! Sweet!)

Once again, I did my best to follow Natalie (or as my friend Erin calls her, the "Amazon Woman" -- which is so very apt!) -- And I'd like to know what's up with this mid-way point of the levels. I get going, I get going well, and then suddenly I falter. What I could do the day before, I can no longer do. WHY??

I wasn't able to make it through the cardio sections, I wasn't able to do the push-ups, I was barely able to do those dreaded chair squats with the V fly. Also -- I pulled a muscle in my abs. Seriously, I was laying there on the floor sweating and panting and desperately trying to lift up my legs like Jillian and her Amazon friend, when suddenly, I felt a pop on the right side (like over my ovary)...Yowza!! It hurts if I try to do that move again, but it also randomly hurts depending on the position I'm in and the pressure on it.

I ended up a little defeated yesterday.

Today, however, I got up, got dressed and headed down for Yoga Meltdown. Remember, I'm trying 3 days of shredding and 1 day of Yoga. Since I enjoy Yoga so much, this video is pretty easy for me, relatively speaking. I get a good workout and relaxation at the same time. I know -- a bit of an oxymoron, but it is what it is. Today, however, that pulled muscle in my stomach screamed at me. EVERYTHING in this yoga video irritated it! The Sun Salutation (where you lift your arms up and tilt your upper body back ever so slightly) -- Pain. Plank poses - Pain. Camel pose - Pain. Dolphin pose - Pain. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

2 more days to the doctor, and I'm going to have a list of complaints as long as my arm! This is my first ever visit with him, and he's going to think I'm nuts!

I need to make another order from Amazon (my favourite store ever!) - I need some Yoga for kids (both mine and my chosen children). My girlfriend was kind enough to drop off a video for me, which will do until my new ones arrive -- I'm planning on buying Gaiam Kids: Yogakids Fun Collection...anyone have any opinions on it?? The way I see it, you get two videos (full length) for less than the price of one!

The Shred - Day 22

I slept in this morning. I was at a wedding reception last night --- wearing a dress that rocked...when everyone else was covered. I felt a little nude. It was ladies only, the last wedding reception that I went to the ladies were dressed to the NINES and I felt frumpy...Huh...I think it's a conspiracy and that I'll never fit in. Whatever. Thanks to God and Jillian, I fit that dress and looked good (but would have looked so much better with Haniya's shoes, right Asma?!?!)

So -- Like I said - I slept in. I was so intent on doing my Shred this morning that I even dreamed about it. Yup, my alarm beepity-beep-beeped me awake, I sleepily turned it off and then went back into dream land doing power squats and V-raises and plank jacks. Yes, I am strange. When hubby's alarm went off next (45 minutes later, and much too late for me to exercise, I cursed and went on with my day).

But -- strange things; the weather here is beautiful. Warm, sunny and refreshing after a long, cold and dreary winter. The kids must have spent the weekend outside in this new spring and by the time we'd finished lunch, it was all they could do to make it to their nap stations! I took the initiative and did my quick 20 minute Shred while they power napped.

Once again, I did my best to follow Natalie. She's tough...I'm not quite at her level yet, but the other one (who's name continually slips my mind) is much too easy for me. I did it all until that last cardio section -- which for some reason I just can't make through. Plank jacks followed by double jump skipping. Repeat. It's just too much for me. But - I did as much of it as I could.

By the way - I also learned that doing a Shred workout after eating a bowl of vegetable soup isn't the best idea. Yuck.

The Shred - Day 21

*sigh*

I'm tired. I'm worn out...my arms are jelly. My legs are shaky.

Today, I did level 2 following (as best as I could) Natalie -- the "tough" one. I was able to do it all -- except for those plank lunges -- impossible in my opinion. I also had to take breaks in the cardio cause that woman just doesn't quit. It was either take a breather or die. I chose life.

Good news:
*no more pain in my knees. It's as if it wasn't there.
* even though I'm complaining now, I know I'm getting stronger.

Bad news:
* I still have to get through this and find it easy before i move on to level 3.
* My obliques hurt...tremendously.

Really Bad News:
* I had to buy my 9 year old daughter a bra. :( I am SO not ready for her to grow up!

Yoga

Today I did yoga. I have always done yoga as a relaxation of sorts. I enjoyed going to it after an aquacise class, or a spin class, or after training for when I used to do the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walks. It was my down time. I relaxed my mind and my body.

With Jillian's Yoga -- there is no relaxing of the body. Oh, I can still get all zen-like and mellow - but my thighs are far from relaxed...and that dolphin pose (though, that link doesn't really do what's done in the video) does a real number on your core! I love it...I love that I am able to work out, work out hard, and still come out refreshed and relaxed.

You will notice, now, that I'm starting a bit of a new schedule. From now on, I'll be doing 3 days of The Shred, and then 1 day of The Yoga Meltdown. 3 days of Shredding is pretty hard, and I don't want to lose that by "wimping out" so to speak. But I do feel that my muscles need a break from the same movements over and over. Doing the Meltdown will still allow me to work on those muscles, but in a whole new way -- and yet, I get the little mini break from the shred.

As it stands, I'm have completed about 6 days of The Shred level 2. I plan on doing roughly 15 days each (basically, when it gets too easy, I'm moving up...if it will take me more than 15 or less, so be it). Either way, I'm alternating with The Meltdown which I'm currently doing at level 1. I'm really, really enjoying this - and am almost able to do the entire video following the tough woman. Yoga has come very naturally to me, and though this video is a challenge it is also a release. I love having to look forward to this every 4 days!