I had an epiphany this weekend...has that ever happened to you? The stars align, the angels sing and you suddenly realize the errors of your way and make that all encompassing decision to change your life's course. Yeah...that happened to me this weekend.
I wrote my exam - but that wasn't what caused any change. I talked with a great friend on the trip there and back (it's a 2 hour drive to the school) and we covered a lot of topics and came to a decision on a great name for a group to help motivate us to find our inner skinny person. Though this will eventually cause a change in us, it still wasn't the thing that I'm talking about.
No, the big change happened when I decided to clean under my fridge. I hate doing this - it's disgusting and I know that if I did it more often, it wouldn't be so disgusting, but the facts are, I'm lazy and so once or twice a year is about as much as this job gets done.
So, I pulled out my fridge and find the usual nasties that are under there, some dust bunnies, a few lost cheerios, a magnet -- I swept them up, mopped really quickly and pushed the fridge back. I looked at my freshly cleaned fridge (free of fingerprints for a precious few moments) set in against my newly cleaned kitchen cupboards...then I saw that pile of dust and dirt and filth combined with a few dust bunnies and stale cereal - and I thought to myself "why do you treat yourself like the underbelly of your fridge?" and I just started to sob.
Why do I do that? Why do I put everyone else's needs before my own? I ensure that my family is taken care of, as well as the needs of my friends, my daycare kids, my extended family, my school work...oh the list goes on and on...and all the while, I'm like the underbelly of my fridge collecting dust and debris and continuing to carry out my duties.
So, after crying over dust bunnies, I've decided that I need to get back to taking care of myself. Why do I allow myself to go all day without eating only to stuff my face with crap? Why don't I exercise any more? Why don't I take the time to renew my spirit and soul? Things are gonna be changing around here - they need to, because if they don't, I'm going to meltdown...and the truth is that I can't truly help anyone until I start helping myself.
5 days ago