Dec 3, 2010

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Blogging

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Blogging is a special thing.  In my case, the blog started as a means for me to vent my frustrations as a mom, wife and childcare provider.  I was sick of looking on the net and finding all the fluff and roses and singing angels when it came to motherhood -- I wanted to express the truth which is decidedly less "Disneyfied" than a Google search would let you know.  I have learned a teeny tiny bit in the blogging world - not much, but enough to give a little advice.  I have learned that there are some very good parts of blogging, some nagging bad and some very, very ugly.

The Good

Writing a blog is both a way to express your creative self and a method of feeding some small narcissistic part of you that you didn't even know existed until you get that first comment.  That narcissistic self then gets greedy and wants more and more (this sounds like it should be in the bad, huh?) - your friends read it and make a comment or two - but then....whammo you're hit with your first I-have-no-idea-who-the-heck-you-are're scared, elated, nervous and proud all at the same time.  It's....odd.  Generally, these first few comments are from people who agree with what you are blogging and life goes on wonderfully...your followers and fan base grow ever so slightly.

The Bad
In your excitement, you tell your family about it.  This was my mistake.  You see, remember up there where I said that my blog was going to tell the non-Disney version of mommy-hood??  Yeah...I whine and complain write about a lot of things on here.  My mom, my husband, my kids...they all have special little posts about them.
Here's the problem though...I may say "Wow, my blog is really getting noticed, it's great!" and my mom (being oh-so-proud of the child prodigy that she gave birth to) goes and reads a post where I complain about something that she's done.  I feel guilty.  I mean, I love my mom...I care about her and her feelings and this hinders me from writing other negative posts about her.  I'm torn between complaining about something insignificant writing a great blog post and fluffing it up with Unicorn farts and Fairy dust so that I don't hurt her feelings (or those of anyone else that I may write about).
Negative comments also go in The Bad category.  When you get that first negative comment that says something like "you're wrong, you silly stupid head, motherhood is always pleasant and wonderful and this blog and your ideas are the work of Satan!" -- well, that kinda puts a downer on my day.

The Ugly
The Ugly category is basically the same thing as The Bad - but to a higher extreme.  These are the people who follow my blog that make nonsensical comments, have horrible spelling and/or grammar and otherwise tick me off.  Normally, I'd tell these people that they need to read a book of basic English grammar (or in some cases, Etiquette 101)...but then I worry -- am I going to be making fun of someone who has English as a Second Language or has special needs?  I don't want to do that (intentionally that is).
There are also followers of my blog that I'd kill  to use as fodder for the blog write about.  I'm not going to go into details (mostly because they'll then know who they are) but there are certain people in my life who, in one way or another, irritate me.  I'll be in the middle of a conversation with them and think "This would be an EPIC blog post." But then....if I post about it and say what I'm really thinking (rather than the nodding and smiling that I'm doing at the time) they'll know.  This, in and of itself, could cause major chaos in my extended family and friendship circles.  It's a daily struggle for me.  To write, or not to write is not the question; but more "to risk anarchy, hostility and contempt...that is the question"
Another bit of Ugly is the Nasty comments -- this goes beyond the negative ones that tell me what a poopy head I am to calling me horrible names and basically leaving me to feel like I am a useless slug in need of a giant salt shaker to make a long, painful end of my life.  Yeah.  Those are the Nasty comments.

In the end - I'm still going to blog - whether I have just one follower or thousands.  I find it very therapeutic to write (and you folks would not believe the number of blog posts that I have left's kinda terrifying actually).  Just letting you Nasty Commenters know that you won't stop me!



Chantilly said...

You can always write about me "good, bad or ugly".

Juliana said...

You go, girl! :)

Anonymous said...

I say blog it no matter what. If the intended person sees it, oh well. Let's just hope they act as an adult about it and maybe learn a lesson or two. Everyone needs a place to vent and this just happens to be your place!!!

C said...

Asalaamu Alaikum

One thing I made sure to do was not tell anyone in my family about my blog. They gave me too much grief on FB. I only told my friends about my blog when I left FB too not the ones that made any trouble for me. Maybe you need to make a new blog and tell nobody and see who comes, lol. My mother gets upset about people's grammar too like you. I can't tell you the number of times she complained to me about the news anchors and their rotten English. I wish she would just write them a letter and stop telling me about it. I'm not in your real life so I guess you will never blog about me which is a good thing I think, lol.

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