Sep 10, 2009

Oh how I love my mother! Let me count the ways!!

My mother is possibly the best grandmother ever. She takes my children on weekend sleep overs where they play hockey in the hallway, paint fingernails, and build bird houses. She does things with them that I don't like doing, like camping. She is all things grandmotherly; warm, caring, fun and kind. (yet, I must say, she hardly looks a day over...uh...30)

Yet there are times that I think "what on earth was she thinking?!"

The last great outing that my kids had with grandma was spent out at some lake (sorry, forget where). The kids got to eat hot dogs, cook marshmallows over an open fire, make smores and eat all kinds of junk that I wouldn't allow at home. She took them on a "hike" where they got to walk through mud bogs in flip flops. I think that they may have even gotten lost, but she hasn't admitted to it yet (nor have the kids).

Another great adventure of this fabulous weekend-camping-get-away was picking cat tails. They each brought home a large (like 6 inches long) cat tail to keep in their rooms. This was all very cool. I thought that I'd wait until either the novelty wore off, or they dried up to nothing and then I could chuck them.

Unfortunately, these cat tails obviously had wonderful smells of nature that was oh-so-pleasing to my real cats. The kids, when told to go to bed on Monday, ended up laughing and laughing. I was busy doing my mom-duties, and did what most typical moms do. I shouted at them. Something like "stop playing around and brush your teeth!" The giggling subsided, and then I hear whispers and clunking in the bathroom. It sounded like someone was trying to wrestle a monkey. I simply sighed and thought that, like everything else, I'd just clean it up later.

However, I forgot about it. I went in the bathroom that night, brushed my teeth in the dark and went to bed. The next morning, I nearly had a heart attack!

I sleepily toddled into my bathroom and sat down to, ahem, do my business. I happened to look at the garbage can next to the toilet and was absolutely shocked at the sight!! It looked like Ronald McDonald came into my house and shaved his unmentionables. It was horrible and terrifying. There was light orange fuzz all over my bathroom. I was sneezing. My eyes were watering. Then, I found the sticks - with about 1 inch of the dark "cat tail" part left. The rest was the torn up bits of fluff that the cat originally started tearing up, but I'm sure that my wonderful angel children finished doing.

So thanks, Mom. I have learned that I am allergic to cat tails when they release their fluff. And thanks for teaching me that they have fluff...did you know they did? Thanks for scaring the crap out of me at 5 in the morning....thinking some sick, perverted red-head had shaved his nether-regions in my bathroom is a fantastic way to fully wake up.

However, as frustrating as it all was still fantastic. And the kids...they can't wait to go to her house again!


Hethr said...

I would like to take the time to write my mother's response to this post.

*laughter, laughter, and yet more laughter*

When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she said "why yes, I did know that cat tails got all fluffy."

I said "really?"

"uh....yes" she replies...and after a bit of a pause "a lot of them out at the lake were like that"

Yvonne O said...

I very nearly woke up the girls I was laughing so hard! Thanks for the giggle Heather!


Cori said...

Yes, Heather..I knew that cat tails have fluff...LOL They have lots and LOTS of fluff. Man oh man, what I'd give to have been a fly on the wall that morning, though! ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!

Oh ya...going through the bog in flip flops? That would be wayyyy cool! LOL

Hethr said...

Thanks, ladies, for the's always nice to know my writing has touched the audience!

Umm Amirah said...

awww Convert mommies R the best. My mom takes my kids on vacations and to amusement parks, swimming classes and gymnastics (i have 2 girls). My kids LOVE her.
My (muslim) mother in law.......well she's an after thought. Tragic.

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