Late Night Comedy

So, I've stated before that my husband doesn't like it when I post about him.  Therefore, this post is about someone who got up in the middle of the night talking gibberish.

It started with (what I can only assume, that is) him being woken up by a couple of teens who were running down the street at 2 in the morning.  He gets up, looks out the window and says, "they're whacking the green tuck!"

I groggily reply, "????what????"

Him: "I said they're whacking the truck...I mean jacking...I need to check the deck" (fyi, we're having a new deck built in the back yard)

I think whatever rocks your boat hun, I have beauty sleep to get to.

Then, I hear him do that sleepy shuffle-walk through the house.  He disarms our alarm system and goes to inspect the deck...just in case those teen thugs (who were simply running down the street) had taken any of the deck building supplies.

Next, he shuffles to the bathroom, and I assume it's over.

Wrong.

He goes back to the bedroom window (which looks out onto the front yard) and says "Poor truck.  Stupid kids."

Me thinking: what the hell...would you go to sleep so that I can, too??

He then goes to look out the front door...finally arms the alarm and comes back to bed.

But, here's the best part --- he remembers NONE of this!  NONE!!  Oh...how sweet it would be to live in his world....

Oh...and there's not a thing wrong with the truck.  Those kids were simply running down the street...