what the heck are you guys thinking & more unhappy moms

I know I can come up with some weird stuff, but the things that people Google and manage to come to my blog are really interesting.  It makes me wonder what they were really searching for, or why Google's ability to find the relevant information brings them to my blog.

Here's a few of the best:

1. Green Eyed Jealousy monster creates doom
2. sick dentist
3. stop sending your kids to my house
4. random things I did
5. Life with a woman is unhappy except for a few moments of joy

I particularly like the last one!

I wonder what they think when they find me.

But by far, the most Googled phrases that bring readers to my blog have to do with Unhappy Moms.  I wrote about this before, and due to overwhelming response, felt that it needed a second and even a third post.  So, I'm writing this now in hopes that those of us who have gone or are going through those struggles that our babies/toddlers/children/teens/grown children give us, to give some hope to those who are in the midst of what can seem impossible to get through. I'll start here, and you, my dear readers, can add yours in the comments box or on the fanpage if you wish.

My kids make me:
...want to scream sometimes - like yesterday when my toddler dumped my hot chocolate all over my keyboard and homework.
...want to give up, like the time that he dumped the can of paint all over my floor.
...want to leave, like through the many, many struggles with the teen.
...want to lock myself in a castle far, far away when I can't even get a moment to myself and my husband sits there and magically can't hear anything that's going on (and is apparently invisible to my kids, because they never seem to need him for anything!)

Raising kids is hard...and the truth is, we learn as we go.  We are in the middle of growing and developing our own systems and organizations when BAM, this kid comes along and throws a wrench into all your plans...life changes forever, and sometimes it can be really, really daunting.  But there's hope and there's help.  Sometimes just knowing that other people are struggling too is enough to get me through the day.

Oh, and Sue, since I know you're going to comment on how I'm supposed to write fluffy happy stories about the cherub babies and happy mothers pushing their buggies down parkways untainted by cigarette butts and/or beggars....you can easily find it someplace else.  Being a mom rocks - and when your little bundle finally arrives, I think you're going to be an AWESOME mom, but I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't prepare you for less than rainbows and butterflies every day.

Unhappy Moms, Vent here!

So, I've gotten more hits for unhappy moms. Some of you were brave enough to comment on the blog. I have to say, that I got many emails (from friends and strangers) and quite a few phone calls thanking me for the original post. But those few brave souls who commented on the blog (where everyone can see and judge) -- I'm proud of you.

So...here's my new thing. My kids have been driving me NUTS lately. Don't get me wrong...I love my kids, but sometimes -- I tell you, I get so frustrated, so mad...so annoyed that I just want to stand here and scream. Last week -- I literally told my husband that I needed a "time out". I went to get groceries. I was gone for an hour and a half -- with a good 45 minutes of that spent just sitting in my car holding back tears of frustration.

So -- These are a few of the things that my kids have done to right tick me off this week.

* toddler has a fascination with dumping. God forbid I should leave a water bottle or coffee cup within his reach, becuase it will be dumped on the table, into the sugar bowl, or on the floor.
* Daughter is a slob. I have tried teaching her to clean. I have tried breaking things down for her so she can clean one bit at a time. Nothing works. Her room ... it literally makes me shudder. I have given up.
* Middle son - You would hardly know that this child is alive - he's always got his face in that damn Nintendo...he's also developed a potty mouth...boy, am I proud.
* Toddler has a thing with dumping toys from their bins. THis isn't so much a problem, except that he dumps EVERY toy from EVERY bin. Makes me want to scream.

Ugh...I'm sure that there are more -- But I'm tired and need to now go and wake my little angels for a new day...

More Unhappy Moms

So, I've just replied on a post that I made a while back.  It gets quite a few hits (upwards of 50/day -- which I think is a lot considering that people are googling "unhappy mother" to get to it) You can read the original post here.

I quickly realized that my latest reply should be a post in and of itself.  You see -- there are all these women out there (and even a young girl who searched for "Why is my mother unhappy") -- I think that we all need to realize that motherhood does not equate instant happiness.

Here is my reply to a response to that original posting:

First of all, thank YOU for being brave enough to comment...I get a LOT of hits on this page, and it's the rare person who comments.

I think that there are a lot of mothers out there with these same feelings -- we love our children, we really do, but it can seem as though something's missing. I hadn't been able to put a finger on it until I started blogging...what's missing is knowing that it's NORMAL to feel this way. You hear me? N-O-R-M-A-L

Ironically, I'm also very introverted. It will take a lot to get me to open up in public unless I'm very comfortable with the people I'm around. That's slowly changing with wisdom (or is it just age??) Everyone else was so into things that I'm not. Throwing lavish b-day parties for my kids, caring about the clothes that I wear, or the house I live in or the car I drive.

I mean...really...WHO FRIGGEN CARES???

I don't care. I don't care if they like me...quite frankly, I don't care if YOU like me (no offense meant)...I'm tired of being someone else to please everyone else...and really, when you're trying to be a "happy mother" who are you trying to please; you or society?

In deciding to start caring about myself, I found something -- I like me...I may not like my faults, but they are part of me, and I LIKE ME. I am not happy all day long, I'm not always nice, I'm not the most popular person out there...but guess what...I'm happy now.

I think that the saddest thing about all of this is that it's taken me more than 30 years to come to this realization.  I do not need to change who I am for other people to like me.  It's okay for other people to not like me.  Even more - I'm okay with the fact that other people don't like me!  For as long as I can remember, I would go around and be different "hethrs" for different people.  There was the funny hethr, the cool hethr, the smart hethr, the tomboy hethr, the hethr who liked to party...etc... But none of those hethrs were me.

I am me.  I like me, warts and all.  That's what matters.

FESTIVUS FRIDAY: The Airing of Grievances

I got this fabulous idea from We Aren't Perfect and I LOVE it.  I tried to post on her blog, but it won't let me.  I may try again in a new browser though.

Anyhow -- If (like some people I know) you're too lazy to click on links, the idea is, we are moms (or maybe not) and things can tick us off -- much like my posts about Unhappy Moms that got people to vent about their issues.  This is the same thing -- only under the spirit of Seinfeld -- a Festivus Friday Blog post.  I'm in cyber love.







So, I'll go first.  My grievance is having to tell my kids (and my chosen ones too) the same answer 10 times over...such as "no, you can't have a chocolate bar for lunch today." They then try again, and again.  When they realize that I'm not changing my mind, they then send in their recruits -- as if I have a secret favorite child who will bat their beautiful little eyes and tilt their head at just the right angle to make my will power shatter.  It is not happening, kids, give it up!!  So that's my grievance for the week -- answering the same question a million times over.

I think that this may become a weekly post.  Who doesn't need a little venting now and then?

It's your turn....post your grievance!