So, there is someone out there who is an unhappy mother. This woman is so unhappy that she is doing Google searches of things like "unhappy mother" and "unhappy with motherhood" -- these, for some strange reason, bring her to my blog.
I have to say, this is very upsetting to me. When I go and do a Google search of the same things, I come across all sorts of stories of mothers in chronic depressions, mothers who have thoughts of killing their babies, or mothers who already have.
I worry that our society places such an importance on our outward appearances. We all have to have happy families with smiling faces and clean homes. The facts are, though, many of us are far from happy.
Motherhood is an especially touchy subject when it comes to happiness. I'm sure that we all love our children, but there are times when you think "what was I thinking??" People see a frustrated woman with a cherub-like baby in her arms and automatically think "what a horrible mother" They judge instantly. They don't ask if she needs help, or if there's anything that they can do. Perhaps mom was up all night with a fussy baby. Perhaps she hasn't gotten a shower in the last 3 days. Perhaps she's suffering from Post Partum. The sad fact is that just because we're mothers doesn't always mean that we're happy and joyous every moment of the day.
That's the key that I wanted to get across to this woman. If, for some reason, she should come by this blog again, I want her to know that Motherhood isn't all sunshine and rainbows....in fact, in order to have a rainbow, you need to have some rain. Being a Mom is great, but can, at times, be infuriating. There are many times that I feel defeated or like I've lost myself, or that perhaps I wasn't cut out for this mom-gig after all. But all of those feelings are part of being a mom. Our children aren't happy little things that do good every moment of the day. They make messes, they talk back, they wake up screaming 3 and 4 times a night (and sometimes more). They break things, they spill things, sometimes it seems like they look for things to do that will make you want to scream. It's part of childhood.
So, whomever you are, I hope that you are able to talk about your feelings with someone. I hope that you realize that it's normal to not always be happy.
3 days ago