Check Mate

So, the saga of the standoff continues. This wonderful step-son of mine continues his precarious walk on the tightrope of teen years. Why is it that it seems the trouble that I got into as a teen is nothing compared to his?

Anyhow, the lies go on. Funny how he thinks that he can lie without being caught. Saturday was my mother-in-law's birthday. We have a gathering of her children and grandchildren...all of whom are there with one exception...Step Son can't make it. According to him, it's his half-brother's birthday, and if we had only given him "advance notice" he might have been able to make it. Interesting...because last time I looked, we live in a house, not an office, however, I will keep in mind to send him a CC next time an event is planned.

As I was busy preparing the meal (salmon, rice and asparagus, YUM!), I just shook my head and sighed, figuring I'd deal with the issues later. It wasn't until my brother-in-laws started popping in that I thought...."hey, why is this the first year that I've heard about Step Son's brother's birthday being on the same day as my mother-in-law's?"

The proverbial light bulb went off.

Hubby texts the ex. Nope, no party over there, she's not feeling well and wouldn't have him over that night anyhow.

And so, the texting craze begins.

• Let me begin a side note to this story --- back in the day (you know you're old when you begin a story with those words)...back in the day when I was a child, there was no such thing as cell phones. Well...yes, there were...but they were for business men and presidents only. No child carried around a cell phone. Oh, and we actually used those things sticking out of the bottom of our body to get places...they are called your own two feet! I also know that I probably said like, a lot of like, annoying things to like, my parents --- but there is nothing worse then getting a message that says "I went 2 C a mooV. B back l8tr" That was an honest-to-God note that step son left me once.

Back to the texting....Hubby sends him a text, Brother-in-law sends him a text...and I'm sure his mother was too. He replies back with something real smart like "why can't you just let me be with my friends? You've already ruined my life!!"

Now, I realize that sitting and having cake with your grandmother isn't exactly a teenager's top choice of things to do on the weekend. However, couldn't he have just said "hey, I'd rather hang out with my friends"? I mean, why the Big lie? What advantage does such a thing do? It's not like we would have forced him to stay home....Likely we would have said "okay, but could you at least wait until she gets here to say happy birthday?"

So....since we've all done such a good job of "ruining his life" ... he doesn't come home. Instead he calls the next morning to say "uh...sorry, I just fell asleep."

Problem was, it was too late. I'd already had enough and decided to do a little housecleaning. Since I'd already cleaned the rest of my house (okay, not the toilets, but I'm getting to them), I decided to work on his room. Little did I know what I was in for.

I found seven, yes SEVEN full packages of gum. One was in his shoe, another behind a book, some in a bag.....How can one person have seven unopened packs of gum and not know where they are?? I also discovered that the kid has an Axe Deodorant in every drawer that he has. I found homework from grade 7 (he's in grade 10), I found lyrics to songs and raps. I found clean and dirty clothing, I found pictures, I found awards. I found nearly a dozen empty bottles of pop/water/juice, and an entire 2L bottle of Orange juice under his bed. I found the headphone and speaker set for my computer (which I was frantically looking for when i was supposed to participate in my Audio class for school, damn kid!). I found 1/2 package of cookies, a half eaten package of Ichiban noodles, and some molding banana bread that my step mother gave him. I found three unopened containers of applesauce.

But...the "big" find was in a gift bag under his bed. I found a sparkly blue gift bag (that I recall my mother giving him his birthday gift in)...except, it was devoid of any birthday gift. Instead it had all variety of condoms...ribbed, thin, sensitive...uh...can't recall the rest. Now...on one hand, this scares the crap out of me....and you do that silent prayer that I think any parent of a teen in such angst seems to say "please, don't let them be having sex!!!" On the other hand, I'm thinking....well, if he is, at least it's safe.

This is not a dilemma that I want to be in.

The great room clean went on, if a little more cautious about the things that we'd find. In the end, we had 4 large garbage bags of garbage, 2 recycle bags, and 1 large bag full of old clothes. His room is now stripped of it's posters and memorabilia, he'll get it back when he deserves it.

He came home not long after we'd finished hauling the last of the bags to the trash. He was shocked, but knew he deserved it.

Truth is, if he acts up again, I don't know what to do next! There are no more tricks up these sleeves!!