my mini me

I'm sure that you all have seen by now that I have a fairly dry sense of humor.  How I write is generally how I talk.  I may not always be on the ball in real life (meaning, I can't go back and edit) but I try to keep things interesting.  Apparently, my toddler has picked up on this.

We're in a difficult stage right now -- he's asserting his independence stronger than any other child that I've ever seen, and I'm slowly coming to the realization that I have lost my last bit of control.  It's not an easy combination.  For example, on the weekend, I wanted to go shopping.  I have all three kids with me because Hubby was at work...do you think I was able to get what I needed?   Nope -- First, Adam freaked out because we went down the escalator, but not back up -- you see, that's his favourite part of any mall.  If I were to ever lose my child, I would start the search for him at an escalator.  So, after having his little mini meltdown about the escalator, he realizes that he's not sitting in the stroller, he's buckled in.  This was offense number 2.  He screamed bloody murder.
Beet red and completely embarrassed, I unbuckle him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear to soothe him (that is, I bribed him)  "mommy will just look at this and then we'll go buy some gum, okay?  Or how about a doughnut?  No??  Okay, how about a new car?!?  Yes, mommy will buy you a new corvette if you'll just sit back and be good."  Yeah...I'm mom #1 right here.

The shopping trip ended before it even began.

Yesterday, I had him and my chosen child here.  They're nearly the same age.  They get along really well some days, and like oil and water on others.  Both children had suffered an extreme lack of sleep the night before, and thus, we were having an oil and water kinda day.  When chosen child went home, and I'd sufficiently fed and bathed my own, I announced it was bed time.  He fought and whined and pouted, but still carried that blankie of his down the hallway towards his room.  When it comes time to turn into his bedroom, he makes a dash for my bed.  Exhausted myself, I think "whatever, as long as he sleeps" -- I crawl into bed and try to get him to come along...nope, he turns around and starts heading back out to the living room to sit with daddy.  "Where are you going?" I call..."I dunno where I'm going," he replies, "but it's not to bed."

Seriously??  Where the hell did this kid learn this stuff??

The other day, I had asked the kids to clean up.  Adam's usually fairly competitive, so I can say something like "ooh, I see Sally has picked up three Lego's, but Adam only has one" and he'll go nuts and pick up the whole mess.  Not any more.  I tried that trick on Friday and he says "My name is not Adam.  I'm not picking up anything anymore!" and crossed his little arms and stuck up his chin!

Oh Lord, what am I in for??