It kinda went like this:
- wake up before I'm really ready to, but get up and face the world anyway.
- do 2 loads of laundry, make 3 lunches, and prepare my daycare before the clock strikes 7.
- wake up my children. One doesn't want to get up and I end up arguing with him. I feel bad for doing so.
- get my chosen child ready for school; dressed, fed, washed up.
- attempt to wake my own child again, this time with threats. I feel worse.
- send children off to school, I'm angry and feel bad for being angry. What if it's the last time I see them and I"m angry? I feel even worse.
- Toddler is up and being a toddler. Chosen child toddler arrives and is also being a toddler.
- The two toddlers fight about everything.
- They kick each other, they pull each other's hair, they scream, they push, they knock over. I lose my patience and shout. I feel bad.
- Repeat the above scenario in your head until you're ready to pull out all your hair.
- I send the kids for nap and allow myself to sit here and cry rather than study. Now, I feel guilty for giving in to tears (I'm not a crying type of gal). Homework is left untouched.
- The boys wake up from their naps with just slightly smaller horns than they went down with. I'm an emotional mess.
- My kids get home from school - and I warn them that I'm very grumpy - which makes me feel even worse because they're my kids and I shouldn't make them feel like they need to walk on egg shells.
- The chosen children go home and my mood doesn't change.
I need an emotional outlet but cannot find one.
This is the reason that so many women are unhappy mothers!! Everyone thinks they have to be happy go lucky all the time. Reality is, sometimes, being a mom SUCKS. I love my kids to death, but I really, really, REALLY need a "me" day.
That is all.