Jul 21, 2010

itsy bitsy spider

So I was chatting with a girlfriend on the phone and told her this spider story -- to which she replies "That's a Delusional Post!!"

So, here we are.

My daycare is in the basement of my house. I have this big windows that lets in lots of light and it's really not what you think of when you think "basement" -- with the exception of one thing. Creepy crawlies. They happen...very rare in the winter, but they're around during the summer.

This story begins early on a Monday morning. I wake up at 5:15 in the morning. Yes...you read that right. I'm awake at FIVE IN THE MORNING. *pauses for the applause and astonished gasps*  Anyhow -- since I'm awake at such an ungodly hour, I don't exactly want my kids and husband awake too -- So, I shower upstairs and then blow dry and primp and preen in the basement bathroom so as not to make too much noise (Yes, covered Muslim women have hair and like to look pretty!!  lol)

Anyhow -- the basement bathroom gets used a LOT during the week, but almost never during the weekend.  It's an "emergency" bathroom really.  It's not that it's old or ugly or anything (we just renovated last year, it had better not be!) but for whatever reason, we just don't use it.

So, I get out the hair dryer, plug it in and tilt my head to start blow drying -- then....I see it.  *insert Jaws theme here* A nasty, big, black spider in my toilet.  Yes, that's right, he was in the damn toilet!!  He was halfway between the water line and the toilet seat.

Now -- I'm a daycare provider...I deal with some of the nastiest things on the planet and there's little that can phase me.  I can handle all sorts of bugs with two exceptions.  The first is cockroaches (thank GOD there are none in Edmonton...yet) and the second is Spiders.  I hate them.  I really, really hate them.

So, I think, "Die, bastard!" and I flush.

The friggen thing did not even BUDGE.  He held on with his magical spidey grippers and didn't even move during the torrential downpour that is the flushing toilet

I flushed again...no movement...and again ... he moved just 1/2 an inch or so.  By this time the battle between me and Super Spidey is well established and I cannot figure out if I'm more freaked out or pissed off.  So, I grab my final weapon -- a bottle of shampoo --- and squirt it around the rim of the toilet and flush again.  Apparently, the soap was the magical weapon...as it seemed to take away the water tension and the spider-from-hell finally went down the drain.

Not happy with that, I flushed a few (4) more times -- just to be sure he didn't come back...it wouldn't have surprised me.


Anonymous said...

I hate to tell you Heather, but according to my friend their are cockroaches in an apartment building here in Edmonton. :-(

I can relate to hating the spiders though.


Hethr said...

EEEEEEKkk Roaches!!

Maple_Mom said...

I just evicted a cock roach from my trailer last night... right before the Racoon decided to come visit me and attempted to break in.

I'd rather have your basement with the spiders right now.


MR. PANGUY-AB said...

My comment is kinda out of the topic but reading your entries, you're the coolest mum (aside from my mum) that I know. hope you well and keep posting. :)

nice story you have.. :D

Meaghan said...

You have hair?? What?? Lolzzz...best line on your blog EVER :)

I'm with you on the "s's"...I won't even spell the word, but acreage living has forced me to become braver and more, erm, versatile in my tactics??

NanLT said...

Crafty little bugger that little spider was.

I don't mind spiders. Actually, I rather like them. Hubby is deathly afraid of them though. He says he would never have married me if I was. I *think* he's joking. ;-)

My agreement with the arachnid world is that I will leave them be outside, but if they move inside they're fair game.

Oh, and the hoover is a pretty good way of getting rid of spiders up high on the ceiling.

FlyBabySHE said...

As a non-arachnophobe, I generally tend to leave them alone..as long as they're outside where bugs and other small crawling critters belong. If I find one inside, I may...repeat MAY..scoop it up on a piece of paper and take it outside, or I may just squish the little bugger ..LOL

Where I work, the building is quite old, and has large overhead doors in the back area, which allows great access for assorted little creepies and crawlies to come in. One of my co-workers is a card carrying arachnophobe..LOL..and one day she looked up to see a spider (quite small - maybe 1/4" across including legs) dangling from the ceiling about 18" in front of her face. I'll leave the ensuing chaos (on her part) and hilarity (on my part) to your imagination!

Hethr said...

@ Mr. Panguy -- Thank you! What a compliment!!

@ Meaghan -- no joke, I've had people ask me some of the strangest questions about hijab -- oooh...new blog post idea!!

@ nan and flybabyshe -- It's not that I'm afraid of spiders, per say, it's more that I'm afraid of spiders that may get ON me. So, you see...my biggest fear in this whole situation was to let the spider be -- I would NEVER be able to use that toilet again if I didn't know where the spider went!!!

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