Feb 23, 2011

The Trouble with my Man

Unless you live under a rock or don't follow me on Facebook, you'll know that Mr. Delusional hurt his leg the other day....here's the story.

A few years ago, we had a bit of a flood in the house.  It ruined the floor and furniture, so we got new stuff.  The new stuff included what I like to call "the one-ton coffee table."  Now, of course the table doesn't quite weigh a ton...but it's built of very, very solid wood and has big old glass panels (and drawers too)...If I had to guess, I'd say the thing weighs a good 80+ pounds.  It's so heavy that I dread it when the kids eat popcorn or something, because it means that I have to drag the thing out of place to vacuum underneath it, and then put it back.  It's heavy.

So, fast forward to Friday.  I'm happily doing a little bit of homework okay then...doing some curriculum research....okay fine - playing on Facebook while the kids were napping.  Mr. Delusional was getting ready for work and came into the room to put his laptop away (on the end table).  He came into the room rather briskly - and as he walked towards the end table, he swung his leg and smacked his knee into the corner of "the one-ton table."

Okay, there was  not nearly enough gasping and sympathy from you all.  So let me clarify a little...he hit the table so hard that he moved the one-ton table.  Yup, it lifted up out of the grooves that it had developed into the carpet and over by a few inches.

There's still not enough sympathy folks.

He hit that table hard; a direct hit on the knee cap to the very corner of the table.  In fact, he hit the table so hard that he took the black off of his pants.  No lies peeps...what I thought was maybe something transfered from the table to his pants is in fact a section of pant where the dye has been removed.  It's a little 1 inch bar of white against the black of his pants.

He had instant swelling -- not a whole lot around the knee itself, but definitely on the knee cap.  He swore up a streak...and seeing him in so much pain almost made me cry.  After he calmed down a bit, he took an Advil and hobbled into work.  I called him a couple of times to check on him, until he said "Please don't talk to me about it anymore, I can't think about it!"

Yup...he was in pain.  But, he was also a man - which meant he wasn't going to the hospital unless a piece of bone was sticking through the skin.

He worked his full shift, came home and iced it (it was still swollen and by then it was hot and swollen to about 3 inches above his knee cap) took another Advil and went to bed.  The next day, he couldn't bend it.  But he still went to work.  His excuse was "it's the long weekend, I can't ask another manager to come in on the long weekend because I hurt my knee."  He did the icing and Advil again when he got home.


He worked again on Sunday and told me that he'd go to the hospital that night.  For whatever reason, he didn't leave the store until 8, and then felt it was too late to go to the hospital, to which I lovingly replied, "Fine then!  If you're too stubborn to go to the hospital, don't come hobbling to me when you have to have it amputated!"  Yup...shining moment for me right there!  I still helped him with the ice and elevation and all that.  Oh, and I forgot to mention that he was unable to get dressed/undressed on his own for the last few days.  I did that for him, too -- cause I'm an awesome wife that way...except for threatening him with amputation that is.

On Monday, I get a phone call from him around the time I'm expecting him home.  He's at the hospital!  Hurrah!!  The doctors looked at it, x-rayed it and came up with this: "you've likely got a hairline fracture of the kneecap - these things don't show up well on an x-ray, so just continue to do what you're doing." (meaning the icing and Advil).  

Don't these guys know anything?  How can you tell a man like my husband something like that?  Do you know what that means?  The next time something happens to him he won't go to the hospital.  He'll just put it off and put it off....and then you know what I'll be stuck with?  Him, hurt beyond what is necessary because he's just too stubborn to go.


Anonymous said...

I seriously think I'm going to vomit! I can totally see it happening because it would happen to Jeff! Jeff gets littles pieces of metal in his eyes and waits until after midnight to go into the hospital to have them removed! Last spring he had a 3rd degree burn on his arm from welding that happened around 8am and he just covered it up and kept working. He came home at 8pm and fought with me until my best friend who is a RN told him he had to go in!! (parts of the skin on the outside were black) I don't know why men are so stubborn but I can't stand it!!

Erin said...

The description of him moving the table....actually made me a little sick. I can imagine the pain.
Stubborn men.

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