Jul 14, 2009

defeat

As a person who doesn't like to give up, this is possibly the hardest post I've ever made. I am sad to say that the relationship between stepson, his father and myself has broken down to such a sad point that, at this time, I don't see how it can be repaired.

He left our home about 3 weeks ago. There was a serious incident that occurred, and it was something that we have experienced time and again. We were continually told that it would never happen again, and yet, it did. There is only so much that one can take. You know that old saying "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." That's the situation that we're left with...but the hardest thing is, at what point do you give up on your child?? At what point do you say, "this is a problem without a solution?"

I feel like a failure. I want to be there for him. He's making such mistakes that I know are going to cause him hurt and pain and suffering. Yet, he can't see it. The guilt that his father feels is indescribable.

I think that the reason that I feel like such a failure is the fact that I've been where he is. Not exactly the same situation, but close enough to know what lies ahead for him. If he goes back to school, I'll be shocked. If he stays in school, I'll eat my words.

I don't know where to go from here, a place I've never envisioned myself being in, and a place I really don't want to be.

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