I'm BACK!

School's done with -- well, kinda.  I'm still working on a practicum over the summer, but that's much less work than what I've been doing.  Finished my final exam last night, so now I can concentrate on my life again.

I was going to go on a white water rafting thing, but I think I've decided not to...this time.

Our Book Club is going to start.  Official start day is tomorrow (July 1st) -- I'm going to try to read ahead a bit to get some ideas of where the book is going, and come up with some discussion/question type things.

And belly dancing -- remember I wanted to do that??  I think I just might!  Anyhow -- I'm off to finish reading a book that's NOT a text for a change!  I'm so loving life right now!

An Anti-Rape Condom??

     Okay, this is not a joke -- it's an actual, honest-to-God product that someone has made.  Here's the link to the story.  If you don't want to click, here's the gist.

The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man's penis during penetration...[o]nce it lodges, only a doctor can remove it -- a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest.
"It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it's on," she said. "If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter... however, it doesn't break the skin, and there's no danger of fluid exposure."

     Though I think that a little pain is only deserved by a man who rapes a woman, I see far too many flaws with this.

     First, isn't rape usually an unexpected event??  I mean, are you supposed to say to your assailant, "Please wait one moment while I insert this penis stabbing female condom."  I don't think so.

     Second - in order for this thing to work, you still have to be raped.  Sure, there's a minor bit of justice, but the deed is still done.

     Third - when are you going to get that wicked, twisted woman who's mad at her boyfriend/husband for whatever reason and uses this as a way to "get back" at him.

     The idea is interesting, her intentions are wonderful, but I'm not convinced that this is a great answer to a horrible problem.

Nap Time Notions

Yeah...it's nap time here. Shhhh!  If anyone wakes up these little people, there will be hell to pay!  It has been quite the morning to say the least.

However, I wanted to just do a little post about some of the things that I do during the day here...though, first, I'm going to start with a "from the mouth of babes" thing that my toddler said last night.

It has been a struggle to get my toddler to bed at night lately.  Struggle isn't a strong enough word.  More like "Extreme Bedtime: The Adam Campaign".  Yeah..that's closer to it.  Last night, i just wasn't in the mood for it and I let him crawl into bed with me.

After flipping and flopping and flailing about like only a toddler can do, I turned my back to him and attempted to read my book.  He began rubbing/caressing my bum (I was wearing PJs!) and says "Ooooh!  Back Boobies!"

I. Nearly. Died.

That had to be the funniest thing I'd heard in a long time!

Anyhow -- onto today's story -- During the day, I feel like we don't do a lot, yet, if I write it all down, it's no wonder that I'm exhausted by the time the last chosen child goes home. I'm up at 5, okay, 530 -- and I usually don't get to bed until 1030 or so.  There's laundry and housework to do.  There are school/work lunches to make, and the meals for dayhome too...then, don't forget about supper.  There are walks to be taken, toys to be played with, songs to dance to.  I break up fights, I kiss boo-boos and I hug away hurt pride.  Yup, I do it all.

That's why I think I'm so sarcastic.  I need to be. If I didn't have an outlet, I might just burst from it all.  I love my job, but I can't be sweet and sugary all the time.

To get to the point of my story here, I listen to XM radio in the car.  Don't ask me why I do this, but I prefer to listen to Kid's Place Live.  I love this station...every now and then it's got some crappy song on there, but it's where I learned some real gems...like this one:



What a great way to teach kids to cover their coughs!

I also heard this one on there which I think is really great for teaching kids to like themselves the way that they are...




but my most favourite EVER is this one. It is FILLED with witty little quips and has a great humour that adults can enjoy. I want this CD!!  It's available on Amazon as an MP3 Download -- but I'm not that computer "smart" to know if that's a good way of getting music.  I suppose so, since I"d just play it off of my PC or iPod anyhow, right??   Now, the kid who did this video is pretty talented, I have to say, but it's certainly not how I imagine this song in my head. When he says "nothin' was pretty depraved" I'm picturing the cat like you see in Pepe Le Pu cartoons after she gets soaked in a barrel of water. But, regardless....it's great. I love the song!



So -- now that you've gotten a glimpse into my crazy mind --I'm off to do homework.  LOVE sleeping children!!

The Cake Story

Okay, so I planned this little birthday party for one of my daycare kids. They all get along so well (usually) and another little one is moving away soon, so it would be the last big "thing" that we could do. I wanted to liven it up a bit.

So, I was going to buy a cake...but, well, I kept putting off that homework, and the next thing I knew, it was party day. Thank God, I had a box of cake mix in my cupboard (but didn't have icing...more on that later).

So, I pull out the cake mix. It's Butter Pecan. This is not good -- I have a child here who's allergic to nuts. I read the ingredients, there's nothing listed, there's no warnings nothing. I still worry...what if she eats it and I have to pull out the epi-pen?? I do NOT want to do that!

So I call my BFF (who's allergic to nuts) who says, "Why don't you just call the 800 number on the box?

Clearly folks, all of my brain functioning is being reserved for writing my essay.

So, I call the number. It's something like 1-800-I-can't-believe-you're-too-lazy-to-make-your-own-cake. She assures me that none of their products contain nuts. Hurrah! So, now I'm making a pecan-less butter pecan cake. Woo hoo!

We mix and stir and pour and bake. The house smells devine. We eat some sloppy Joe's for lunch (to which I'm told "Where did you come up with this amazing lunch?!?") *I love this child!*

Nap time and I head to my facebook, because I realized at 10pm that I had no icing in the house...or butter...or Crisco or any other nasty, high-fattening thing to make icing with. One of my FB friends kindly left me an easy to make recipe with butter (or margarine), icing sugar, milk and vanilla. That's my kind of recipe.

I measure out my butter and vanilla -- then go to my sugar cupboard -- only to realize that I've got about 3/4 of a cup of icing sugar -- but I need 2 1/2 cups! Then I remember my BFF (previously mentioned) had borrowed some sugar earlier in the year....

So, I scooped out some of the butter and vanilla, poured in the sugar and a bit of milk, and prayed for the best.

It worked. It was good, and just barely enough to cover the cake.  I made up for the ugliness by adding sprinkles.  Yeah...I went all out on that baby.

Here's a pic...it's...er...beautiful, isn't it??  And now you all know why I have never made a claim to be a domestic diva. Diva, yes...domestic??  Not a chance in hell!

The Faith Club

     So, one of my fabulous followers saw that I wanted to start a book club with the book called "The Faith Club" and ya know what this wonder-woman did??  She SENT me the book!!!

     Folks, I tell ya, there is nothing better in the world than opening up your mailbox to books (well, if you're a book geek like me, that is!).  Even when I order them myself, or when they're textbooks for school, I get all giddy and excited.  I just love books!!

      Anyhow -- I have some pretty major assignments that I have procrastinated on...haven't gotten to yet...uh...I mean that are due soon...and then a Final Exam on the 29th...so that gives you all plenty of time to order this book if you'd like to join in.  I'm thinking 1 chapter a week or so...starting on the first week of July.  What do you all think??  Sound good??  The link to the left is for you American readers....and the one down here on the right is for my fellow Canucks.

     Once again, I've heard very mixed reviews on this one.  I've heard people are upset with the very lax faith of the Muslim and Jewish women in the book.  Personally, I think it will make for interesting reading anyhow -- and what a great way to start a dialogue!

Happy Reading!!

Festivus Friday again!

I have been holding back and waiting all week long for this post! I'm also trying out a new font...so let me know if it looks any better than the older posts...I don't really like the way the old font looks on my background.

Anyhoo -- I've got a bunch of grievances to air...so without delay:

1.  whoever is tossing their garbage into my back yard.  It's GROSS.  Stop.  It's not a lot, but I have better things to do that pick up your chocolate bar wrappers and slurpee cups.  My guess is that you are a wickedly cool teenager.  Feel free to use my garbage can or I'll call the cops on you for littering.
 
2.  People who come to comment on a post in my blog just to post a link to theirs.  It's rude.  Seriously...some dingbat came and posted on my last Festivus Friday rant "nice post" with a link back to his/her blog.  Come on!  "nice post" -- Is that the best you can do?  Did you even read it??  I don't mind, really, if this person really read the post and said that...fine...but something tells me that it was just a comment-and-run to spread their crappy wears.  I refuse to click on their link.  Comment folks, I like it...even if you don't agree with me, but put a little thought into it, okay??

3.  Potty training.  Ugh...we are potty training my son.  One day, he'll do fabulous the next day I'm cleaning up puddles like crazy.  Just another reminder straight from God that I'm done with having kids. 

4.  The rain -- We had a long, hot, dry summer last year...and we seem to be making up for it now.  I'm sick of it though.  A little sun would be nice.

5.  My procrastinating.  I have a pretty major assignment due on Sunday.  Guess how much I have started.  NOTHING.  Yet, I blog.  *le sigh*

6.  He who shall not be named -- let's just say that I wasn't feeling well this week and asked someone who doesn't like me talking about him online to watch my toddler.  Well, somehow, while I was napping, toddler got into nailpolish -- all over my daughter's DSi, and all over his face (including his eyelashes which are now stuck together and pearly white)  I just don't get it.

7.  Laundry.  Even with the schedule of schedules -- I hate laundry.  I'd rather burn it and buy new.

And...I think I'm done.  Wow...I feel better already! 

Nasty neighbors

So I live on this street of a middle-class neighborhood.  We don't have people come to manicure our lawns.  We don't have shrubs shaped like cherubs or zebras.  But we do have some standards.  They are few, but simple...basically it's these simple edicts:

• mow your lawn before it goes to seed
• don't let your dog do his business on my grass (and if he does, pick it up)
• keep your trash in you back yard where I don't have to look at it
• park in front of your own house

Now, last year, the guy who lived across the street was meticulous.  I'm talking, he'd be out there trimming and blowing and cutting and mowing all the time.  I'm not asking for this kind of perfection (and frankly, I don't want it...it makes too much work for me to try to keep with).  However, the people who bought his place are lazier that I am.  Believe it folks -- there is a couple who are actually that lazy.

It started out with their car parking.  There's this kind of unspoken rule in our neighborhood of "the street in front of your house is for your car".  Our neighbors have even come to us telling us that they'd be having a party and "is it okay if the guests park in your spot?" -- I'm cool with that, it's a temporary and occasional thing and not that big of a deal.  Now, I park my car in the garage anyhow, but still, I don't like to see other people's vehicles in front of my house (unless they're visiting me!).  It's so...ghetto.  But, that was the first thing these people did.  They parked in front of my house.  Okay, for the first few times, I get it...you're new to the area, you've got unpacking and stuff to do, and I realize that it's a lot of work to actually turn your car around and park on your side of the street in front of your own house. But whatever.

Then, they started parking the wrong way -- whether in front of my house or theirs.  I don't know why -- but this ticks me off.  I'm no saint, I've done it myself...pulled up, parked on the wrong side, ran in to get whatever it was I forgot, and back out again.  Total time parked like an idiot = 30 seconds. These guys take it to a whole new level...parking like that on a Friday evening and not moving the car again until Monday morning.  Uncool, folks...really uncool.

Soon, we noticed garbage bags.  The first was just sitting there, on the front of the yard.  I thought "hmmm...they must not know that garbage goes in the back alley."  That garbage sat on the front of their yard for 2 months.  No word of a lie.  I would have told them where it was supposed to go, but they are strange -- they don't look at you or nod or smile like everyone else...I think that their immediate neighbor told them garbage is picked up in the back -- for some reason, the bag disappeared...only to be replaced by another one less than 3 days later.  I saw this one happen as I looked out at my kids going to school.  The woman came out of the house, carried the bag of garbage - placed it on the public sidewalk and left. I shook my head.  The man of the house came home later, picked up the same garbage bag, carried it halfway up their walk and left it there. It stayed there through rain, snow, sun, wind, more snow, more sun, more rain.  A few more bags made their way to the front yard -- no pattern, just scattered about.  Some of them were attacked by dogs/raccoons/rabbits...garbage strewn everywhere, but nothing at all was picked up.

By this time, their grass had grown....a lot.  It's long enough now that it's gone to seed.  It's past my knees!! People..that's bad.  Like really bad.  Our city has a bylaw -- over 10 cm (4 inches for you American readers).  This is well, well past that.  I'm sure it's 1 1/2 feet by now!  (well, except for that area under the bit of carpet that is tossed out there)

So -- becuase I'm a coward, suck at confrontation, wonder if maybe they don't know, I printed off the bylaws that they were violating and (like the chicken-hearted soul that I am) waited until they weren't there to drop it off in their mail box.  I watched and waited for them to get it....

Then I got sick...so sick that I couldn't even stay awake. I  went to bed when the last child left here (about 5) and didn't get up until 730...but guess what -- the garbage is gone...the carpet, too.  It's been rainy, so I can't see them cutting any grass....but I'll keep you updated.

FESTIVUS FRIDAY: The Airing of Grievances

I got this fabulous idea from We Aren't Perfect and I LOVE it.  I tried to post on her blog, but it won't let me.  I may try again in a new browser though.

Anyhow -- If (like some people I know) you're too lazy to click on links, the idea is, we are moms (or maybe not) and things can tick us off -- much like my posts about Unhappy Moms that got people to vent about their issues.  This is the same thing -- only under the spirit of Seinfeld -- a Festivus Friday Blog post.  I'm in cyber love.







So, I'll go first.  My grievance is having to tell my kids (and my chosen ones too) the same answer 10 times over...such as "no, you can't have a chocolate bar for lunch today." They then try again, and again.  When they realize that I'm not changing my mind, they then send in their recruits -- as if I have a secret favorite child who will bat their beautiful little eyes and tilt their head at just the right angle to make my will power shatter.  It is not happening, kids, give it up!!  So that's my grievance for the week -- answering the same question a million times over.

I think that this may become a weekly post.  Who doesn't need a little venting now and then?

It's your turn....post your grievance!

the battery saga: Finale

So, I thought I ought to update you folks out there in Bloggy World about the end of this saga.

The battery has passed.  I don't know how -- uh, wait, I do know how, but I don't know when.  I had run out of my prescriptions and had to go to the doc anyway -- so I dragged the little demon child with me.  A quick xray showed that there was no battery to be found.  Yahoo!

Now, 2 days after the end of that, begins the next tale of motherly adventures.  On Monday night, my middle guy was complaining of tummy pains.  He picked at his supper, and willingly went to bed (I should have suspected at this point).  1/2 hour later, I hear *cough, cough...splat*

Every mother knows this sound.  The sound of barf hitting the floor. The sound that lets you know that there is not a peaceful night of blissful sleep ahead; rather a night spent scrubbing floors, cleaning up sour puke and trying to comfort little bodies.

For the little bit of food he ate, Mr Man sure had a lot in his stomach.  He managed to get another shot at the carpet in his doorway on the way to the bathroom and also completely covered the toilet (made it there, but not in time to lift the lid).  *le sigh*

So, cleaning all that up was fun.  Lots and lots of fun.

Throughout the night, he was sick some more.  I stopped counting after the fourth or fifth vomit session.  I cleaned it off the wall, off his bed (again, and again) off his pillow, off the books that he got...Oh Joyous Puke. (and why he couldn't get it IN the puke bucket we gave him, I'd like to know!)

Morning comes and there is a definite aroma of stale puke in my house.  How lovely.  We are now pricing out a new mattress for him (anyone know of a place having a sale?)

He continued to puke all day yesterday.  He was able to eat 1/2 of a chicken leg for supper last night, and kept it down.  He's still sleeping...but if that nasty virus starts and ends with him, I'll thank my lucky stars!