Food, family and fun

You know, I really should start bringing a camera along with me so that my documentation of the things in my life have a little....life in them.

Anyhow -- this weekend was a weekend filled with Family.  First, it was my Dad's birthday -- we had a little BBQ at his place -- just a few of us there, but the kids had a blast, I got to spend time with my dad, and he got ice cream cake (oh, and I had roasted Marshmallows...mmmmmm).  Good times. I almost forgot about this -- because it was originally planned for his actual birthday day, but then was moved.  However, I was still able to make it there in time without feeling too terribly guilty.

The next day we had dinner at my husband's family's place.  Now, I want to preface this by saying I love this family. I really do!  So "Uncle Teddy Bear" as my kids call him, called me and invited us for supper, I originally said no (because it would have interfered with my dad's birthday supper -- but with dad's supper moved to Saturday, I called to let him know I'd be coming).  "That's great!" he says.  "What time should I come?" I ask.  He says "Oh, we'll eat around 5 or so."

Alrighty then!

So...on Sunday, I do a little putzing around my house, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, laundry -- the usual.  3pm comes, I get my kids changed and head to the grocery store.  I bought a bouquet of flowers to give to "Uncle Teddy Bear" and a jug of milk for my own house.  I return home to put the milk back, and take the long way to "Teddy Bear's" house.  I arrive shortly after 4.

Now -- in my mind, this is an appropriate arrival time, I mean, it's enough time to visit for a bit, offer to help out, and then eat.  Personally, i find it rude when you invite someone for dinner and they arrive in time to take off their shoes and sit at the table.

But I forgot one important thing.  We were going on Arab time.

You see -- my husband is notoriously late.  Like ALL THE TIME.  So much that he made up a little song after my constant nagging of "you're always late" and he would sing "alllllways late...do do do do...."  (yeah, you can't hear the tune, but you get the point).  His brother is the same.  He'll often call me and say "Hey, I'm gonna stop by your house in 5 minutes..." and I know that I've got 1/2 hour at least.  I thought that this was just a trait of my husband and brother in law....but apparently, it also extends to everyone else other than me!

I showed up shortly after 4...we visited for a bit...we waited.  5 came and went...still no one else showed (there were probably another 10 guests or so)...6 came and I had at that point become very good at holding up the wall -- because the lovely ladies working in the kitchen wouldn't let me help.

I don't recall, but I think we ate about 630 or so...maybe even closer to 7.  All I know is I was nearly faint (joking)....

As usual, the food was fantastic, the family was great and we all had fun.  I just felt a little pesky showing up "so early" to the dinner that I was told would be at 5!!

By the way -- Asma, one of the fabulous hostesses of the evening, had the most fabulous hair style....(okay, I said it...where's my $5 Asma???)

lol

The Faith Club, Chapter 2

Okay guys, I'm trying to take it slow here, I really am!  I think that I may just post my thoughts on the chapters and put the links up to them on the Facebook page, but leave it to you to read at your own pace.

So, Chapter 2 - Still not 100% sure that I like this book, but we'll see.  As a Muslim, I obviously identify more with Ranya,  -- in this chapter she tells about her family's departure from Palestine.   This is difficult for me, my husband is also a Palestinian, some his family fled to Jordan, some remained behind in Gaza.  They can't always go back to see each other, they are a family torn apart.  (Warning, I'm about to get political here) -- what bothers me most is seeing pictures of his family members in Gaza.  They live in squalor.  They make the best of it, but the fact is that they live in conditions that are, in my opinion, unsuitable for habitation.  Yet...look over the rise, and there are the Israeli settlers who live in fantastic villas with manicured lawns and beautifully paved streets.  I find that unjust.  I don't care about the religious aspect of this and I don't take sides in the debate.  The Palestinians feel as if their land and home was unjustly taken from them.  The Israeli settlers feel that they deserve the land (and have been living there for 2 generations now).  The land is home for both people. I just don't like the juxtaposition between the Israeli citizens and the Palestinian.  I feel as if it's a "na-na-na-na-boo-boo" thing.

Okay -- back to the book -- I have more to complain about with this chapter (but am into the 3rd chapter, and liking that)

It is a major pet peeve of mine when people confuse cultural practices with religious ones.  A great example would be the Burkas that Afghan women wear.  That is culture, it is not a part of Islam.  Ranya does this as well; on page 23 she says "I am reluctant to throw out leftover bread without kissing it and asking for God's forgiveness" -- Culture.  Shortly after that, she says "...making sure that no shoes remain with their soles facing up toward God in a sign of disrespect." -- Culture, not religion.

On the same page, she talks about carrying a Quran in her purse, or sometimes wearing a verse of the Quran around her neck.  Does this make one a Muslim?  Does it make them religious or faithful?  I don't think so.  She says "I pray, but not necessarily five times a day as more traditional Muslims do." ---  In all these years that I've been praying 5 times a day, I have never, ever considered myself a "traditional Muslim".  Never.

I am surprised that she didn't discuss some of the small things that we (Muslims) do that make every action that we take a method of worshiping God.  For example, before we eat something, we say Bismillah which literally means "in the name of God".  When we end our meal, we say alhamduillah which means "Thank God".  This way, our entire meal, from beginning to end has become an act of worship. There is the greeting of Salam alaykum meaning "peace be on you" that we greet all other Muslims with.  There is the act of smiling to others.  Smiling -- a form of worship!  How simple and beautiful!

I'm glad that I read a little further into this -- as so far, these first two chapters are...disheartening.  Chapter three, however, really gets into the similarities of the three faiths - something that I find beautiful.

The Faith Club, Chapter 1

Okay, I startedreading this today, and i have to say that so far, I'm not too impressed.  The very first page has a statement that offends me to my core.  Ranya writes, "I did not feel comfortable at the mosque in our neighborhood, where women prayed separately from men.  I wanted to feel respected."

What?!?

I get not feeling comfortable at the mosque --- it's happened to me.  It happened to me at the churches that I attended too, before I chose Islam....but it happened because of the little cliques that are inevitably formed where a group of people gather.  In the church, it was the "homemakers," the "group leaders", or the "bible study" cliques.  I didn't fit into any of them.  I felt an outsider.  Now, at my mosque there are the "Arabs" and the "Converts" -- I'm too Arab to fit in with the converts, but not Arab enough to fit with the Arabs.  I get the feeling uncomfortable thing (and, much to my surprise, I learned that there's a gathering outside of the mosque for those who feel....uh...shall we say "shunned" -- yay for that!)  Anyhow -- to say that you don't enter a mosque on equal footing as a man is wrong.  Flat out WRONG.

Yes, we pray separately from the men.  I like that. I can go upstairs and listen to the sermon, watch the Imam deliver his speech and stand up to pray with the other ladies.  If my baby is hungry, I can nurse him.  If I'm hot, I can remove my headscarf -- I call it freeing and wouldn't want to be with the men.

If this silly statement were said by someone who was not a Muslim, I wouldn't be offended at all, it can seem as if it's unfair and lacking respect if you don't know the reasons behind it.  I think that there are a lot of things that non-Muslims view of my faith as unequal or lacking respect for women, but the truth is, once you learn about them -- you see it's the exact opposite.  Islam gave women a voice more than 1400 years ago that was unheard of, they were able to vote, ask and receive divorces, own property, refuse a marriage....and so many more.  People think "yeah...big deal" but think about this.  Women in America were not allowed to vote until the 1920's (but if you were an African American Woman, you didn't get that right until 1968).  So sad.

Anyhow back to the book -- I understand Ranya's fear of post 9/11 America.  I was afraid too.  But I don't understand what she's afraid of.  She is a Muslim woman who doesn't wear a headscarf, who's children have "normal" names, who drinks alcohol, doesn't go to a mosque to pray and celebrates Christmas.  What kind of Islam is this??  I see it Islam of convenience.  That's how she felt, it's how she felt -- but I wonder, how did the Muslim woman who adhered to those articles of faith feel??  I know that some women removed their Hijab (headscarf) in fear. I know that they removed Islamic art and Quranic scrolls from their places of adornment in their home...in fear.  I know that they feared going to the mosque to pray...that they had no place where they could gather and feel safe -- they became the enemy in their own land. 

I'm 8 pages into the book and I already have a bit of loathing for Ranya...who claims my faith by name and not in spirit.  I don't like that....not at all.

I wonder if I'm the only one to feel this way.  I know that I only have a few followers on here who are Muslim -- what about  you Jewish followers?  How do you feel about Priscilla, who I see as very much the same as Ranya -- a woman who talks about faith, but doesn't really seem to have it.  On page 8, Priscilla says "...despite the fact that I prayed along with others to God that night, I wasn't sure whether I really believed God existed."

I find it odd -- a book called The Faith Club has 2 of the 3 authors who don't really practice their faith.  Go figure.